I'm Not Taking It Anymore

When it comes to poker, I am usually in one of two moods:

1. I am mad at my situation, because I don't have a lot of opportunites to play.

2. I'm mad at myself for not doing something to play more, play better, and make some money.

I know that I am doing the right thing.  I also know that I should not have been in this position, or more correctly, I should not have allowed myself to be put in this position.  My wife and brother-in-law have "real jobs", so it was decided that by some family members that I should do half of the day-to-day caregiving.

I agreed to this, and a year later, I'm still doing it, living with my mother-in-law three or four days a week.  I can't let anything like this happen to me again.  My father and/or my sister might need that level of help very soon, and I will gladly do my part if I am not too tied up with my mother-in-law..  But I will insist that my job be treated the same way as anyone esle's, and that more won't be expected of me than anyone else in the family, just because I don't get a paycheck.  I learned a tough lesson, one that I will NEVER repeat again.

This week I was with my mother-in-law from Sunday night through Wednesday night.  Today (Thursday) I had a dental appointment.  I got on the computer around noon to see when the online tournaments were running, and I was excited to find one with a very good structure.  I haven't been able to fit one of those into my schedule for at least two weeks.  It starts at 1315 and if I made it to the final table, I could be playing for about eight hours or more..

Then I came back to reality.  I had the car for my dentist appointment, so I have to pick my wife up from work at 1430.  After that, we have to go to the bank and the grocery store and run a couple other errands.  Besides, since I had to get up for a morning dentist appointment I'm not yet caught up on my rest.

It's not easy getting up in the morning with my mother-in-law for a few days, then switching to a schedule where I sleep in so that I can play live tournaments that run past midnight.  I won't waste time and money trying to play tired.

I spent four days this week with my mother-in-law.  This is day five, leaving Friday and Saturday open.  Except that Saturday we are going to a wedding.

This is the pattern every week.  It's my mother-in-law, maybe a rest day, then we jam our family business or other important things into what time is left.  I try to play a live poker tournament (aka do my job) once a week, and about three times out of four I'm able to do that.  My wife and have started scheduling time to see a movie together- once a month.

With a schedule like that, something as simple as a heavy snowfall requiring a lot of shoveling time can knock out that week's poker tournament, or cause our movie night to be rescheduled to another week.

I'm in a horrible box.  My wife plans to retire in seven years.  I'm trying, with very little success, to get my career off the ground.

The more I think about it, I'm not mad at my situation.  I'm not mad that I can't make something happen in spite of my situation.

I'm mad at myself.  I let this happen.  I'm went along with some family members who made plans based on the assumption that my job didn't matter.  If I don't turn playing poker into a decent income, I have no one to blame but myself.  I'm an a horrible box.  My family built that box, I agreed to jump in that box for as long as necessary, and there is no way out.

Never again.  I'm sick of people not believing that poker is my job.  I'm sick of my state goverment trying to close local charity poker rooms, while being all for the casinos that offer poker (which are all more than a 100-mile-drive from me.)  I'm tired of people who should know me better thinking that my poker playing is juvenile, or stupid, or unrealistic, or degenerate gambling.

I'm looking for another bank for my poker funds, because even though the complicance department of my local bank agreed with me when I brought there attention to the Justice Department Ruling that the Wire Act applies to sports betting, but not poker, the don't want anything to do with my poker business.*.  After a lot of back and forth correspondence, my local banker told me that Iwas right, but "they just don't want to mess with it."

I'm sick of the way I'm regarded and treated because I play poker.

In the last two months I've been reading a lot about how game theory concepts can be applied to poker.  I learned that it I have 40 percent equity in a hand, that equity plus my fold equity makes it mathematically correct to go all-in even when I don't have the best hand or great odds.  I also learned that when stacks get below a certain level, it can be mathematically correct to go all-in in certain situations even when I don't have a lot of equity in the hand.

In that tournament two weeks ago I was in a spot where both of those concepts came into play, I went all in, and I wound up at the final table, eventually cashing.  If I had not been studying, I would not have known to make such seemingly counterintuitive plays. If you don't think poker is a game of skill, you're wrong.

In litigation concerning "illegal poker games" several state judges have ruled that poker is a game of skill, not a game of chance, and therefore it is not gambling.  The International Skill Game Association lists poker, along with Chess, Go, and other games, as a game of skill.

If you still think poker is gambling, I suggest that you find a slot machine or roulette player, or someone who buys lottery tickets on a regular basis, and ask them what they do to get better at their game, and how many hours a week they study. Then I can direct you to a forum post from a single mother who supports her family by playing online poker while her kids are in school.

Then talk to me about what's gambling and what isn't.

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*According to the IRS, a Professional Poker Player (my Department of Labor job classification) is a self-employed owner of a Schedule C business and must file the appropriate income tax forms.