I'm struggling with ADD

It's been nine days since my last post.  A lot has been going on, I've been very disorganized--and that scares me.  I've turned into Bad Clif, that guy who was so disorganized and confused that I tried and failed three times, at two different colleges, to get my bachelors degree.

My Attention Deficit Disorder wasn't officially disanosed until age 40, and it took several years after that for me to come to terms with it, find the right medication, and work on replacing many of the bad habit that I developed over 40 years.  I'm still probably less organized than the average person.  I've made a lot of progress, but it will always be something that I need to work on.  Lately, however, I let things get out of control.

I haven't been updating my calendar.  I stopped planning my day.  I've almost completely stopped studying.  I had (and have) a lot going on, and I let outside forces get the best of me.

It's getting very close to the time when our granddaughters (ages 3, 4 and 5) move to Germany for three years, so we are having them over a lot, including staying overnight at least once a week.  That's the right thing to do, but never having had children that young (we adopted ours at ages 6, 8 and 9) it didn't occur to me how disruptive they would be to my playing poker, or even planning to play it.

The distractions that would come with trying to play while they here made playing out of the question.  I couldn't get involved in an MTT within a few hours of when they would be coming over.  And it's almost always true that at least one of them can't sleep when they are here, and she/they keep me up until well past midnight, so my sleep patterns have been disrupted.

Add to that that Americas Cardroom, despite my repeated warnings starting several months ago, has total messed up SNGs.  They are dead.  Not dying, dead.  There are lots of times when literally no one is playing them, not one SNG tournament running.  So I can't play SNGs in between the MTTs with good structures, and I can't balance the variance of MTTs with relatively low-variance SNGs, which in turn means that I can't manage my bankroll effectively.

So, my tournament choices are very limited, I don't have good options for practicing good tournament selection, my bankroll is way too low to be playing just MTTs (it should be at least 100 buy-ins), and it's very hard to plan my schedule, or even know when or how much I'll be sleeping.

I'm always at risk of losing my grip on things, so any one of above issues would be a challenge.  I knew it would be busy with the kids around, but with all of the other issues, it's close to overwhelming.  It's like an alcoholic expecting his friend to have a beer while they watch a football game at the friend's house, but instead the "friend" takes him to a sports bar to watch the game.

I haven't been planning my playing at all.  I stopped updating my planner.  I've ignored my checklist of all of the things that I have to do every day so that I can concentrate on poker for the rest of the day.  That behavior has to change.

Americas Cardroom said that some of the decent SNGs would be back today, but today has less than three hours left (ACR servers, while in Europe, are set to US eastern time).  I'm thinking about not playing at all until they come back.   It certainly wouldn't be a bad idea to make up on some of my lost study time.

Whatever I decide, I need to get some control of myself and my situation.  I've still been playing some MTTs, and I will get back to updating and posting my results in the next few days.