HOURS
Administrative 4.75
Study 6.00
Play 25.00
------------
Total hours, 35.75
It's stil not 40 hours, but I was dodging thunderstorms, or at least that possibility, a few times this week.
I don't think I've said this before, but I am very strict when counting my work hours. I round every session to the nearest quarter hour, and if I'm not playing, studying, or doing administrative work, it doesn't count.
If I'm waiting 10 minutes for a tournament to start, it doesn't count. Breaking to eat, go to the bathroom, or anything else, doesn't count if it's more than a few minutes. Getting sidetracked by a phone call, or having to look up something non-poker-realted on the computer, doesn't count.
So if I can ever starting hitting 40 hours regularly, that would be concentrated poker time, nothing wasted. I still think that I should be doing that well, or better.
PROFIT OR LOSS
Week starting bankroll 7/18, $105.92
Week ending bankroll 7/24, $116.22
+$10.30
Not a great week, but I spent most of the week bankrolled only for $1 tournaments, a tough hole out of which to climb. There aren't options to look for tournaments with good structures--at $1 there are very few such tournaments.
My bankroll requirement for playing $2.20 tournaments is $114.40, so I'm right on the edge. Definitely not a lot of room to maneuver.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
7/25/2010--My consolidated bankroll strategy.
Disclaimer for any cash players that may be reading this:
I play strictly tournaments. I understand that some of the things in this post don't apply to cash games, where the swings at the "nosebleed stakes" can be much larger, and where some players have won or lost over a million dollars online in one day.
--------------------------------
There are a lot of posts on 2+2 about bankroll strategy. Some would say that it's the most important aspect of being a good poker player, and I agree. You can't be a succesful poker player if you can't manage your money.
Good bankroll strategy is pretty well mathematically defined, and like poker playing in general, it presupposes a long-term perspective. It's about playing at levels you can handle, from the standpoint of finances and playing ability. It's about not moving up too fast when you get a big score. It's about having enough in reserve to deal with the downswings and variance. And it's about having enough in your "roll" to take the fear and the "what if I lose my money" concerns from affecting your play.
I understand the mathematical big-picture concepts behind bankroll managment, but not all the mathematical detail. In general, it works like this:
To be able the weather the storms, whatever type(s) of poker you are playing, you should have a minimum of 50 buy-ins in your bankroll--more if you play high-variance games such as large multitable tournaments, and more if you play at higher levels, where the players are tougher and your ROI (return on investment) percentage will go down. Where it gets tricky is that every game has it's own mathematical implications in a "risk of ruin" formula.
For example, if I played only STTs (single table tournaments), where the variance is low, about 50 buy-ins are probably fine through the micro (< $5) and low (< $20) tournaments. But for tournaments with thousands of players, the variance is great because I will get much larger cashes, but cash much less often. MTT (multi-table tournament) specialists usually play with a bankroll of between 100 and 300 buy-ins.
Where it gets tricky is that I don't really specialize. I want to get more MTTs in the mix, but it can be hard sometimes to carve out a block of 8 hours or more to play. So I play STTs, MTTs, and everything in-between.
In theory I could do the math, such as figuring out my standard deviation for each type of tournament, then putting it all together. I've never seen someone do the math for something like that, but I have a pretty good idea of how it would work.
I could figure it out, but I don't want to mess with it. Besides, I play so many different types of tournaments that I wouldn't have a large enough sample size for each type to make the math work. You can't calculate a reliable standard deviation from a small number of data points, I know that much.
I decided on three basic assumptions:
1. Everyone should start with at least 50-buy-ins, whatever game(s) they are playing.
2. As I move up to higher levels, and as I put more MTTs into the mix, I will need more buy-ins to play safely (in mathematical terms, more buy-ins equals a lower "risk of ruin").
3. I want to keep it simple.
Here's how it works in practice:
$50 is my zero point. For every tournament entry fee, every dollar over $0 requires an extra buy-in. For example, a $1 touranment requires (50+1) buy-ins, or $51. A $100 tournament requires (50+100) buy-ins, so (150BI X $100) = $15,000.
It should be obvious from the last example that playing at the highest levels requires a huge bankoll. The most expensive live tournaments in my city have an entry fee of $100, but there are tournaments available both live and online that cost thousands of dollars to enter.
I have seen a screenshoot of a PokerStars player who has over a million dollars on the site. I thought that that was crazy at first, but after I thought about for a minute, I realized that it made perfect sense. Playing at the highest levels, the variance is enormous, and you really do need to have a 7-figure bankroll to play with any confidence.
So now, when I talk about having, or not having, the bankroll to play a certain tournament, you'll know exactly what I mean. If I'm playing a $5 tournament, that means I have a bankroll of at least 50+5, or 55 buy-ins, or to put it another way, I must have a bankroll of at least $275, because 55BI X $5 = $275.
I hope that's clear enough. There is a lot of theory behind it, but having consolidated all of my tournament types into one conservatve formula, it's just simple multiplication:
(buy-ins +50 ) * (entry fee) = required bankroll, in dollars. If I stick to that, moving down as required, and moving up as I am able, I never have to worry about growing broke, and I'll know when the time is right to move up.
I play strictly tournaments. I understand that some of the things in this post don't apply to cash games, where the swings at the "nosebleed stakes" can be much larger, and where some players have won or lost over a million dollars online in one day.
--------------------------------
There are a lot of posts on 2+2 about bankroll strategy. Some would say that it's the most important aspect of being a good poker player, and I agree. You can't be a succesful poker player if you can't manage your money.
Good bankroll strategy is pretty well mathematically defined, and like poker playing in general, it presupposes a long-term perspective. It's about playing at levels you can handle, from the standpoint of finances and playing ability. It's about not moving up too fast when you get a big score. It's about having enough in reserve to deal with the downswings and variance. And it's about having enough in your "roll" to take the fear and the "what if I lose my money" concerns from affecting your play.
I understand the mathematical big-picture concepts behind bankroll managment, but not all the mathematical detail. In general, it works like this:
To be able the weather the storms, whatever type(s) of poker you are playing, you should have a minimum of 50 buy-ins in your bankroll--more if you play high-variance games such as large multitable tournaments, and more if you play at higher levels, where the players are tougher and your ROI (return on investment) percentage will go down. Where it gets tricky is that every game has it's own mathematical implications in a "risk of ruin" formula.
For example, if I played only STTs (single table tournaments), where the variance is low, about 50 buy-ins are probably fine through the micro (< $5) and low (< $20) tournaments. But for tournaments with thousands of players, the variance is great because I will get much larger cashes, but cash much less often. MTT (multi-table tournament) specialists usually play with a bankroll of between 100 and 300 buy-ins.
Where it gets tricky is that I don't really specialize. I want to get more MTTs in the mix, but it can be hard sometimes to carve out a block of 8 hours or more to play. So I play STTs, MTTs, and everything in-between.
In theory I could do the math, such as figuring out my standard deviation for each type of tournament, then putting it all together. I've never seen someone do the math for something like that, but I have a pretty good idea of how it would work.
I could figure it out, but I don't want to mess with it. Besides, I play so many different types of tournaments that I wouldn't have a large enough sample size for each type to make the math work. You can't calculate a reliable standard deviation from a small number of data points, I know that much.
I decided on three basic assumptions:
1. Everyone should start with at least 50-buy-ins, whatever game(s) they are playing.
2. As I move up to higher levels, and as I put more MTTs into the mix, I will need more buy-ins to play safely (in mathematical terms, more buy-ins equals a lower "risk of ruin").
3. I want to keep it simple.
Here's how it works in practice:
$50 is my zero point. For every tournament entry fee, every dollar over $0 requires an extra buy-in. For example, a $1 touranment requires (50+1) buy-ins, or $51. A $100 tournament requires (50+100) buy-ins, so (150BI X $100) = $15,000.
It should be obvious from the last example that playing at the highest levels requires a huge bankoll. The most expensive live tournaments in my city have an entry fee of $100, but there are tournaments available both live and online that cost thousands of dollars to enter.
I have seen a screenshoot of a PokerStars player who has over a million dollars on the site. I thought that that was crazy at first, but after I thought about for a minute, I realized that it made perfect sense. Playing at the highest levels, the variance is enormous, and you really do need to have a 7-figure bankroll to play with any confidence.
So now, when I talk about having, or not having, the bankroll to play a certain tournament, you'll know exactly what I mean. If I'm playing a $5 tournament, that means I have a bankroll of at least 50+5, or 55 buy-ins, or to put it another way, I must have a bankroll of at least $275, because 55BI X $5 = $275.
I hope that's clear enough. There is a lot of theory behind it, but having consolidated all of my tournament types into one conservatve formula, it's just simple multiplication:
(buy-ins +50 ) * (entry fee) = required bankroll, in dollars. If I stick to that, moving down as required, and moving up as I am able, I never have to worry about growing broke, and I'll know when the time is right to move up.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
7/21/2010--Week of 7/11-7/17
Once again, my weekly summary is later than it should be. I've been dealing with a lot of technical issues, which I'm sure will come up in future posts.
HOURS
Administrative 4.50
Study 9.50
Play 21.50
-----------
TOTAL HOURS 35.50
I'm pretty happy about this. It's the closest I've been to a real work week in a while, and the distribution is pretty good as well. I got some decent study time in while still geting 20+ hours of playing time. It's not anywhere near where I would like to be, but it's definitely progress.
PROFIT OR LOSS
Starting bankroll, $101.99
Ending bankroll, $105.92
+$3.93
I'm actually not unhappy about that number. I stopped the bleeding, and I had to make a lot of adjustments due to my depleted bankroll, mainly playing mostly $1 tournaments, and switching to tournaments with lower variance (I don't exactly have the reseveres to be taking short-term chances, and lower risk usually equals lower reward).
In a way, I've had to relearn how to play again. You might not think there would be much difference, but $1 low-variance (fewer tables) tournaments play a lot differently than $3 or $4 higher-variance tournaments.
I think that the main different is patience. At the lowest levels, the players don't like to wait. It's sometimes a good strategy just to wait and play very few hands, and wait for the clueless players to knock themselves out, so that I, and the few other players who know what we're doing, can fight over the prize pool. At this level it's not uncommon to play, say, a 27-man tournament, get into the money (the top 5 spots), and suddenly 4 of the 5 are pretty decent players.
That's a pretty typical pattern in the micros. You get into the money, and one maniac who bet 70% of his hands, who got very lucky (and scared all the timid players with his huge bets), is sitting on a huge pile of chips, and facing four players who are all pretty good. Then it becomes a race to see which of the good players can catch a big hand or two and get that guy's chips, and with them one of the top prizes in the tournament.
It is of course absurd that after all this time I've fighting for pennies against players that don't have a clue. On the other hand, the scaffolding (bankroll management, studying, and the many other issues about which most of my micro stakes competitors are clueless) is in place, and when the building goes up, it's going to go up fast, and it won't ever fall down.
This is a chance to make it on my own, without having to explain my job history, academic record, or anything else, to anybody else. As long as I have a dollar to fight with, I'm not giving up.
I'm still dealing with a lot of technical issues, inlcluding the unreliability of Comcast internet service. But I stopped the downswing, and that's no small thing, so I'm not as unhappy about my results as perhaps I should be, and the slow (so far) climb upward has continued since the end of last week.
HOURS
Administrative 4.50
Study 9.50
Play 21.50
-----------
TOTAL HOURS 35.50
I'm pretty happy about this. It's the closest I've been to a real work week in a while, and the distribution is pretty good as well. I got some decent study time in while still geting 20+ hours of playing time. It's not anywhere near where I would like to be, but it's definitely progress.
PROFIT OR LOSS
Starting bankroll, $101.99
Ending bankroll, $105.92
+$3.93
I'm actually not unhappy about that number. I stopped the bleeding, and I had to make a lot of adjustments due to my depleted bankroll, mainly playing mostly $1 tournaments, and switching to tournaments with lower variance (I don't exactly have the reseveres to be taking short-term chances, and lower risk usually equals lower reward).
In a way, I've had to relearn how to play again. You might not think there would be much difference, but $1 low-variance (fewer tables) tournaments play a lot differently than $3 or $4 higher-variance tournaments.
I think that the main different is patience. At the lowest levels, the players don't like to wait. It's sometimes a good strategy just to wait and play very few hands, and wait for the clueless players to knock themselves out, so that I, and the few other players who know what we're doing, can fight over the prize pool. At this level it's not uncommon to play, say, a 27-man tournament, get into the money (the top 5 spots), and suddenly 4 of the 5 are pretty decent players.
That's a pretty typical pattern in the micros. You get into the money, and one maniac who bet 70% of his hands, who got very lucky (and scared all the timid players with his huge bets), is sitting on a huge pile of chips, and facing four players who are all pretty good. Then it becomes a race to see which of the good players can catch a big hand or two and get that guy's chips, and with them one of the top prizes in the tournament.
It is of course absurd that after all this time I've fighting for pennies against players that don't have a clue. On the other hand, the scaffolding (bankroll management, studying, and the many other issues about which most of my micro stakes competitors are clueless) is in place, and when the building goes up, it's going to go up fast, and it won't ever fall down.
This is a chance to make it on my own, without having to explain my job history, academic record, or anything else, to anybody else. As long as I have a dollar to fight with, I'm not giving up.
I'm still dealing with a lot of technical issues, inlcluding the unreliability of Comcast internet service. But I stopped the downswing, and that's no small thing, so I'm not as unhappy about my results as perhaps I should be, and the slow (so far) climb upward has continued since the end of last week.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
7/13/2010--Results for week of 7/4-7/10
HOURS
Administrative 1.75
Study 3.75
Play 14.75
-----------
Total Hours, 20.25
BANKROLL
Starting 7/4, $192.34
Cashout 7/7 $50.00
Ending 7/10, $101.99
Bankroll change, -$90.35
Profit or loss from poker, -$40.35
Disaster is the only word that applies here. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. My family did a great job of keeping me on edge. We never knew what was going on, or if it was really going on when they said it was. I had a bad run of cards, but that wasn't the biggest problem.
I don't know what to believe from my kids any more. My middle son has been talking for a while about being deployed to Afghanistan, and when he was home, he says he won't be deployed because of medical issues--a bad back. What? The army disagnosed him some time ago, and he planned on being deployed until very recently--and that changed during his leave?
Of course that change didn't effect my poker playing, but the point it that I don't know what's true and what's not. Even with my son back in Alaska (or at least I assume he is, he said he would call when he got there, and he didn't), the uncertainty will continue.
Just before he left, my youngest son wanted to spend some more time with him, so we wound up babysitting two of our granddaughters. This was of course, spontaneous (meaning no notice for my wife and I). We said yes, and they arrived 30 minutes before they said they would, and came to pick them up a little over 30 minutes later than the agreed time.
I should explain here that there is no way that my wife can watch them by herself while I play. We live in a small one-story house and I have ADD. And we can't really explain to a 1, 2, and 3 year old that I'll be on the other side of that door but can't see them because I'm working. Even if they did leave me alone, kids make noise, so having them within 10 feet of me, even if I was wearing earplugs, just wouldn't work. My wife can't take them anywhere, because we don't have 3 child car seats.
I must confess that there is one more thing going on here, and it's on me. I took $50 out of my PokerStars account. That was for my wife's birthday, and she deserved it. She's been very patient, waiting for poker to finally pay off. I have no regrets about doing that.
But the bottom line is that I commited the worst sin a poker player can commit. I tilted. To use the non-poker vernacular, I freaked out. I have a nasty phobia, a fear of heights. But I have one phobia even worse--playing with a small bankroll.
That doesn't just scare me, it terrifies me. I remember that when I was younger my family moved so often that my mother had nightmares about once again having to move and leave her friends behind. That's how scary a small bankroll is to me.
I was a very good part-time player, and built my bankroll to $238 without even trying hard. I just played games that I liked to play, and it happened. I thought it would keep growing forever.
More than two years later, I'm playing full-time, and it's never been that large again. At $215 just a couple weeks ago, I was so close that I could taste it.
When I took out the $50, I was a nervous, but I was confident that I could get it back fairly quickly. Then I hit a bad steak, all of the family stuff happened, and I wound up on a massive losing streak. Before I knew it, I was fighting to stay above $100, and the $3 and $4 tournaments were now out. I'm now bankrolled only to play $1 and $2 tournaments, and my bankroll is borderline even for the $2 tournaments.
I've really baffled about how to deal with some of this, mostly the family part. We love our grandchildren, and we want to see them. But honestly, I don't think there's any way I can tell my son to give me a day's notice before he wants us to babysit. I could, and maybe I should, but most people my son's age just don't think that way.
They don't plan ahead. They don't know that they'll be going to a movie on Friday and will need someone to watch the kids. They don't think about how to plan so they will be back for the kids at the agreed time.
I don't have any good options. I have to work, and if that means laying down some ground rules, even refusing to watch the kids until things change, that certainly seems like the only option. If I was single, I would absolutely do it. However, my wife is already upset that the kids spend more time with their other grandparents (the "party house" mentioned in an earlier post) than they do with us. I'm truly in a no-win situation here.
This is crazy. I can't believe all the stupid things that are interfering with my poker playing--my internet (Comcast Cable) went down twice last week. The second time I was 3rd of 12 in a tournament that paid 7 places. I had good cards (AK preflop), I bet 20% of my stack, lost the internet for three minutes, lost the hand, and just missed cashing (I finished 9th). Murphy's Law was definitely the driving force last week.
I knew from all the admonitions on 2+2 that playing poker as a job is never as easy as you think it's going to be. I wondered sometimes (not often, but sometimes) if I would be good enough, serious enough, smart enough, or even-tempered enough (failed there!) to pull it off through the ups and downs. I never dreamed that so many outside forces would make it difficult.
I'm already a few dollars up since the end of that calamitous week. The slow climb back playing $1-2 tournaments has begun. I just have to stick with it, and deal with the distractions as best I can. I guess the next step is to get my bankroll up to $180, which will allow me to play $3 tournaments again.
I'll probably detail my bankroll management strategy in my next post.
Administrative 1.75
Study 3.75
Play 14.75
-----------
Total Hours, 20.25
BANKROLL
Starting 7/4, $192.34
Cashout 7/7 $50.00
Ending 7/10, $101.99
Bankroll change, -$90.35
Profit or loss from poker, -$40.35
Disaster is the only word that applies here. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. My family did a great job of keeping me on edge. We never knew what was going on, or if it was really going on when they said it was. I had a bad run of cards, but that wasn't the biggest problem.
I don't know what to believe from my kids any more. My middle son has been talking for a while about being deployed to Afghanistan, and when he was home, he says he won't be deployed because of medical issues--a bad back. What? The army disagnosed him some time ago, and he planned on being deployed until very recently--and that changed during his leave?
Of course that change didn't effect my poker playing, but the point it that I don't know what's true and what's not. Even with my son back in Alaska (or at least I assume he is, he said he would call when he got there, and he didn't), the uncertainty will continue.
Just before he left, my youngest son wanted to spend some more time with him, so we wound up babysitting two of our granddaughters. This was of course, spontaneous (meaning no notice for my wife and I). We said yes, and they arrived 30 minutes before they said they would, and came to pick them up a little over 30 minutes later than the agreed time.
I should explain here that there is no way that my wife can watch them by herself while I play. We live in a small one-story house and I have ADD. And we can't really explain to a 1, 2, and 3 year old that I'll be on the other side of that door but can't see them because I'm working. Even if they did leave me alone, kids make noise, so having them within 10 feet of me, even if I was wearing earplugs, just wouldn't work. My wife can't take them anywhere, because we don't have 3 child car seats.
I must confess that there is one more thing going on here, and it's on me. I took $50 out of my PokerStars account. That was for my wife's birthday, and she deserved it. She's been very patient, waiting for poker to finally pay off. I have no regrets about doing that.
But the bottom line is that I commited the worst sin a poker player can commit. I tilted. To use the non-poker vernacular, I freaked out. I have a nasty phobia, a fear of heights. But I have one phobia even worse--playing with a small bankroll.
That doesn't just scare me, it terrifies me. I remember that when I was younger my family moved so often that my mother had nightmares about once again having to move and leave her friends behind. That's how scary a small bankroll is to me.
I was a very good part-time player, and built my bankroll to $238 without even trying hard. I just played games that I liked to play, and it happened. I thought it would keep growing forever.
More than two years later, I'm playing full-time, and it's never been that large again. At $215 just a couple weeks ago, I was so close that I could taste it.
When I took out the $50, I was a nervous, but I was confident that I could get it back fairly quickly. Then I hit a bad steak, all of the family stuff happened, and I wound up on a massive losing streak. Before I knew it, I was fighting to stay above $100, and the $3 and $4 tournaments were now out. I'm now bankrolled only to play $1 and $2 tournaments, and my bankroll is borderline even for the $2 tournaments.
I've really baffled about how to deal with some of this, mostly the family part. We love our grandchildren, and we want to see them. But honestly, I don't think there's any way I can tell my son to give me a day's notice before he wants us to babysit. I could, and maybe I should, but most people my son's age just don't think that way.
They don't plan ahead. They don't know that they'll be going to a movie on Friday and will need someone to watch the kids. They don't think about how to plan so they will be back for the kids at the agreed time.
I don't have any good options. I have to work, and if that means laying down some ground rules, even refusing to watch the kids until things change, that certainly seems like the only option. If I was single, I would absolutely do it. However, my wife is already upset that the kids spend more time with their other grandparents (the "party house" mentioned in an earlier post) than they do with us. I'm truly in a no-win situation here.
This is crazy. I can't believe all the stupid things that are interfering with my poker playing--my internet (Comcast Cable) went down twice last week. The second time I was 3rd of 12 in a tournament that paid 7 places. I had good cards (AK preflop), I bet 20% of my stack, lost the internet for three minutes, lost the hand, and just missed cashing (I finished 9th). Murphy's Law was definitely the driving force last week.
I knew from all the admonitions on 2+2 that playing poker as a job is never as easy as you think it's going to be. I wondered sometimes (not often, but sometimes) if I would be good enough, serious enough, smart enough, or even-tempered enough (failed there!) to pull it off through the ups and downs. I never dreamed that so many outside forces would make it difficult.
I'm already a few dollars up since the end of that calamitous week. The slow climb back playing $1-2 tournaments has begun. I just have to stick with it, and deal with the distractions as best I can. I guess the next step is to get my bankroll up to $180, which will allow me to play $3 tournaments again.
I'll probably detail my bankroll management strategy in my next post.
Monday, July 5, 2010
7/6/2010--"Frozen" again
Nothing much to report on the money front. I'm about even this month. That's not the issue right now.
-------------------
Well, one of my sons really did it to me this time (the one on leave from US Army active duty in Alaska). He called and said that he wanted to see his maternal grandmother. He wanted to ride with my wife and I and my wife was working, so I told him to call back at 5. I also told him that his cousin from another state was in town along with her finance. He was excited about seeing everybody. When the cousin found out he was coming, she was excited as well.
I had just finished a tournament. Poker stopped. I starting making phone calls and sending E-mails. The cousin was at an amusement park, my wife was working (and couldn't take phone calls), my son was who-knows-where. I was trying to see if we could fit in a visit with my parents as well, so I was trying to coordinate all this instead of playing poker.
My son didn't call back at 5. I called him twice, and he did not answer. My wife was home now, and she suggested using her phone to call, and he answered right away. Bottom line, he had found a party and was blowing us off. Several hours of poker time lost.
We have seen him, for about 5 minutes, since he got into town. He said hello, we briefly met his fiancee, he announced, "I see you still live in the ghetto,", and he left, to visit his brother's in-laws (the party house). Oh, I almost forgot. During his very brief visit at out place, he pulled out his cell phone and ordered pizza for his next stop.
My other son, the one that lives in town, has also jerked us around lately, though not so egregiously. He's going to be around, something's going to happen and it doesn't--both of my sons understand that I'm a tournament poker player, and that I have to have some block of time to play, when I know what's going on. And that, more important, I don't need blocks of time when I don't play, and it turns out there was no reason for me to wait.
My wife works away from home. I have a home office, and I can supposedly work whenver I want. I envisioned 60 hour weeks. But it isn't happening, not even close. I'm incredibly frustated. I don't know if I'll get 20 this week.
My third son, who lives in Michigan but several hours away, is going to be back in town Friday. This will be the first time in years that my wife and I and all of our sons are going to be here at the same time. And I don't even want to deal with it any more.
My wife is devastated. She has wanted a new family picture for a very long time, but she's afraid to organize it and have someone not show up. She asked me last night if we would see our sons more often if we had alcohol in the house.
I was shocked by that question, but if we kept the beer flowing and opened up our house to all-night parties for my sons and their friends--yeah, I think she pretty much nailed it.
-------------------
Well, one of my sons really did it to me this time (the one on leave from US Army active duty in Alaska). He called and said that he wanted to see his maternal grandmother. He wanted to ride with my wife and I and my wife was working, so I told him to call back at 5. I also told him that his cousin from another state was in town along with her finance. He was excited about seeing everybody. When the cousin found out he was coming, she was excited as well.
I had just finished a tournament. Poker stopped. I starting making phone calls and sending E-mails. The cousin was at an amusement park, my wife was working (and couldn't take phone calls), my son was who-knows-where. I was trying to see if we could fit in a visit with my parents as well, so I was trying to coordinate all this instead of playing poker.
My son didn't call back at 5. I called him twice, and he did not answer. My wife was home now, and she suggested using her phone to call, and he answered right away. Bottom line, he had found a party and was blowing us off. Several hours of poker time lost.
We have seen him, for about 5 minutes, since he got into town. He said hello, we briefly met his fiancee, he announced, "I see you still live in the ghetto,", and he left, to visit his brother's in-laws (the party house). Oh, I almost forgot. During his very brief visit at out place, he pulled out his cell phone and ordered pizza for his next stop.
My other son, the one that lives in town, has also jerked us around lately, though not so egregiously. He's going to be around, something's going to happen and it doesn't--both of my sons understand that I'm a tournament poker player, and that I have to have some block of time to play, when I know what's going on. And that, more important, I don't need blocks of time when I don't play, and it turns out there was no reason for me to wait.
My wife works away from home. I have a home office, and I can supposedly work whenver I want. I envisioned 60 hour weeks. But it isn't happening, not even close. I'm incredibly frustated. I don't know if I'll get 20 this week.
My third son, who lives in Michigan but several hours away, is going to be back in town Friday. This will be the first time in years that my wife and I and all of our sons are going to be here at the same time. And I don't even want to deal with it any more.
My wife is devastated. She has wanted a new family picture for a very long time, but she's afraid to organize it and have someone not show up. She asked me last night if we would see our sons more often if we had alcohol in the house.
I was shocked by that question, but if we kept the beer flowing and opened up our house to all-night parties for my sons and their friends--yeah, I think she pretty much nailed it.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
7/1/2010--June results and comments
Wow, it's been a long time since my last post. As in other things, I need to be more dilligent.
It's been strange over the last month or so. It continues to be really hard to get my hours in, or to be able to set aside an 8-hour block of time to play larger tournaments.
I've had two main problems. One is that there always seems to be something going on. This week, for example, my niece from South Carolina (I live in Michigan) is in town on a surprise visit, so there will be things going on related to that. Also, my son, who is stationed in Alaska with the US Army, will be on his way to Michigan tomorrow.
I don't know when my son will want to visit, or what his plans are, so it's one of those times where I'm "frozen", which is my term for not knowing how to plan. I don't really want my son, who hasn't seen me in a year, to come over and hear, "Sorry, I can't talk now, I'm at a final table." (I have ADD, so I have to be careful about distractions when I play).
That's the downside of being an online poker player. I'm available, and obviously, when family members are coming from far away like they are this week, I'm going to be there. I can't really say that I have to work certain hours, and it's not practical to say that I can't react until I know everyone's schedule. My son and my niece (and their significant others) are going to be out and about, visiting people, doing the things that 20-somethings do--and schedules aren't part of the plan.
The other, even bigger problem has been the weather. There have been a lot of weather situations that have me "frozen" (my term for not knowing how to plan). This weekend there are supposed to be three days of occasional or scattered thunderstorms.
I'm not interested in getting my computer fried, or in experiencing an internet or power outage after paying for several hours and going deep into a tournament. Several times I have played with weather.com open, watching the weather-in-motion radar to try to guess how long I can play before the next storm cell hits, and trying figure out what kind of tournament(s) I can fit into that time block. Or, even worse, sometimes I decide not to play, and the expected storm never comes.
The solution to the weather problem is to have a laptop with an air card, but there is no way I'm going to spend more on poker than I'm making. Even though it's inconvenient not to have that option, I not interested in going into debt, or spending more than I make, to keep poker going. That makes no sense at all. Technological and other improvments will come from my winnings, and if that takes a while, I have to live with that.
Also, I am at fault for not using my time more wisely. When I can't play, there is no reason that I can't spend several hours studying. Too many times, I decide that it's not safe to play, so I watch television. I need to manage my time better.
Now, on to the monthly results:
June 2010 starting bankroll, $193.34.
June 2010 ending bankroll, $215.34.
+$22.00
There are different ways to look at the progress I've made in the first half of the year. I started the year with a $50 bankroll, and now it's a little over $200. On one hand, I've only made a little over $150 in six months. On the other hand, I've quadrupled my bankroll in six months.
I feel really good about where things are going. Some of the things that I've been studying and practicing at the tables are starting to fall into place. I am a slow, systematic, plodding, step-by-step (pick your favorite adjective) learner, and when something major falls into place, it's a big deal. I'm a tortoise, not a hare.
What's really starting to work for me is aggression. Over the last week or so, there have been several times when I've felt like I was pushing people around at the tables. That's new for me.
I'm slowly developing a good skill set. Sometime I win because I'm more patient than my opponents, or because I understand the tournament situation better, or because I keep my composure when they don't, or because I know the math better. But being able to intimidate opponents, to make them fold when I have nothing, to make then think twice about calling or raising because they know that I'll keep betting on every "street" (every time community cards are dealt)--that's an important skill to being a really good player, and I think I'm finally getting it.
I'm expecting $100 weeks to become the norm sooner rather than later. When that happens, the financial part all starts to fall into place. I'll be close to the point where I can withdraw some money from the business for family needs and personal expenses (in accounting terms, withdraw owner's capital), and still be able to grow my bankroll and reinvest in the business.
It's been strange over the last month or so. It continues to be really hard to get my hours in, or to be able to set aside an 8-hour block of time to play larger tournaments.
I've had two main problems. One is that there always seems to be something going on. This week, for example, my niece from South Carolina (I live in Michigan) is in town on a surprise visit, so there will be things going on related to that. Also, my son, who is stationed in Alaska with the US Army, will be on his way to Michigan tomorrow.
I don't know when my son will want to visit, or what his plans are, so it's one of those times where I'm "frozen", which is my term for not knowing how to plan. I don't really want my son, who hasn't seen me in a year, to come over and hear, "Sorry, I can't talk now, I'm at a final table." (I have ADD, so I have to be careful about distractions when I play).
That's the downside of being an online poker player. I'm available, and obviously, when family members are coming from far away like they are this week, I'm going to be there. I can't really say that I have to work certain hours, and it's not practical to say that I can't react until I know everyone's schedule. My son and my niece (and their significant others) are going to be out and about, visiting people, doing the things that 20-somethings do--and schedules aren't part of the plan.
The other, even bigger problem has been the weather. There have been a lot of weather situations that have me "frozen" (my term for not knowing how to plan). This weekend there are supposed to be three days of occasional or scattered thunderstorms.
I'm not interested in getting my computer fried, or in experiencing an internet or power outage after paying for several hours and going deep into a tournament. Several times I have played with weather.com open, watching the weather-in-motion radar to try to guess how long I can play before the next storm cell hits, and trying figure out what kind of tournament(s) I can fit into that time block. Or, even worse, sometimes I decide not to play, and the expected storm never comes.
The solution to the weather problem is to have a laptop with an air card, but there is no way I'm going to spend more on poker than I'm making. Even though it's inconvenient not to have that option, I not interested in going into debt, or spending more than I make, to keep poker going. That makes no sense at all. Technological and other improvments will come from my winnings, and if that takes a while, I have to live with that.
Also, I am at fault for not using my time more wisely. When I can't play, there is no reason that I can't spend several hours studying. Too many times, I decide that it's not safe to play, so I watch television. I need to manage my time better.
Now, on to the monthly results:
June 2010 starting bankroll, $193.34.
June 2010 ending bankroll, $215.34.
+$22.00
There are different ways to look at the progress I've made in the first half of the year. I started the year with a $50 bankroll, and now it's a little over $200. On one hand, I've only made a little over $150 in six months. On the other hand, I've quadrupled my bankroll in six months.
I feel really good about where things are going. Some of the things that I've been studying and practicing at the tables are starting to fall into place. I am a slow, systematic, plodding, step-by-step (pick your favorite adjective) learner, and when something major falls into place, it's a big deal. I'm a tortoise, not a hare.
What's really starting to work for me is aggression. Over the last week or so, there have been several times when I've felt like I was pushing people around at the tables. That's new for me.
I'm slowly developing a good skill set. Sometime I win because I'm more patient than my opponents, or because I understand the tournament situation better, or because I keep my composure when they don't, or because I know the math better. But being able to intimidate opponents, to make them fold when I have nothing, to make then think twice about calling or raising because they know that I'll keep betting on every "street" (every time community cards are dealt)--that's an important skill to being a really good player, and I think I'm finally getting it.
I'm expecting $100 weeks to become the norm sooner rather than later. When that happens, the financial part all starts to fall into place. I'll be close to the point where I can withdraw some money from the business for family needs and personal expenses (in accounting terms, withdraw owner's capital), and still be able to grow my bankroll and reinvest in the business.
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